29
May

Letters to Herbert 

My dietary sections today were less than desirable, and now I am stuck with an upset stomach, pressure along my abdomen, and post nasal drip. I’ve named the alien in my belly Herbert, and here are the tweets I was going to post about it.

I believe my food baby is expanding, a cesarean section is scheduled for Thursday…

That’s the last time I settle my stomach with McDonald’s.

Salad. Salad. Salad.

So painful.

If I end up being sick, the level of bitchiness will grow to astronomical levels.

I’m looking for a bucket to throw up in. #SoberMondays

Herbert is kicking. #UpsetStomach

Alex

1 note
26
May
Brotherly Flossing Time with @WildCard_ (Taken with instagram)

Brotherly Flossing Time with @WildCard_ (Taken with instagram)

1 note
25
May
This photograph is a screen shot from a conversation with my dear friend. I’m sharing this to highlight what it’s like to text me. 1) I spell like a drunk third grader. 2) I will make exaggerated attempts to fix my errors. 3) I will inevitably ignore the topic at hand and steer it in a ridiculous direction. 4) If you go along, I will be fully committed to my delusions and treat them as valid conversations. 5) I expect you to go along. Alex

This photograph is a screen shot from a conversation with my dear friend. I’m sharing this to highlight what it’s like to text me.
1) I spell like a drunk third grader.
2) I will make exaggerated attempts to fix my errors.
3) I will inevitably ignore the topic at hand and steer it in a ridiculous direction.
4) If you go along, I will be fully committed to my delusions and treat them as valid conversations.
5) I expect you to go along.

Alex

22
May
Climb Out at Grand Forks. Pilot: Graham Frost. (Taken with Instagram at Grand Forks International Airport (GFK))

Climb Out at Grand Forks. Pilot: Graham Frost. (Taken with Instagram at Grand Forks International Airport (GFK))

22
May
H&M announced that they’ll be launching their online US store this fall. If you need me, I’ll be crying tears of joy in my room until September.
— A. A. Card (on European fashion company’s international expansion plans)
1 note
22
May
Megan Volden. Artist: A. Aldred Card Medium: iPhone Camera Date: May 19, 2012

Megan Volden.
Artist: A. Aldred Card
Medium: iPhone Camera
Date: May 19, 2012

21
May
Boom. Perfect Eclipse Photo. (Taken with Instagram at University Place)

Boom. Perfect Eclipse Photo. (Taken with Instagram at University Place)

18
May

This is just wonderful.

17
May
You know what I was thinking about? If Mary Tyler Moore married and then divorced Steven Tyler, then married and divorced Michael Moore, then got into a three-way lesbian marriage with Demi Moore and Mandy Moore, would she go by the name Mary Tyler Moore Tyler Moore Moore Moore
— Max from ABC’s Happy Endings (on hypothetical nomenclature)
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